


Oh my god they were roommates

by Lomeniel



Category: Marvel
Genre: Angst, Blood, Breakup, Death, Dentists, F/M, Fluff, Insects, Maggots, Nightmares, Stolen chocolate, Swearing, flangst, mentioned cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 20:23:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20784569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lomeniel/pseuds/Lomeniel
Summary: You are forced to take over the monitoring of Loki. Snapshots from the life of being a god handler.





	1. Part 1

Walking through the huge glass doors, you almost stopped and turned around. Any other time the music would at the very least have you tapping your toes, but not this time. Even the ridiculously expensive DJ could not turn your mood upside down. 

You looked around the room. Of course they had cleared a space for dancing. Stark’s lavish parties always had lots of people dancing, and those who weren’t inclined to rock to the music could watch the night over the city through the massive windows.

The city looked like a twinkling Christmas ornament against the dark sky. Below, cars sped to and from, creating colourful lines of light in the raindrops on the glass. This was exactly how you felt. The calm rain washed the outside of the building while the loud chaos raged inside. Breathing in and out, you decided to hide in the corner, have one drink, and then head home to a date with Netflix and your pyjamas. 

What on earth had made you think that attending a party filled with happy people would keep your heartbreak away? It hurt more than it should. Yes, Tommy was an asshole, you realised that now, but it was so hard to let go of the past two years. A part of you missed him, but you weren’t at all sure if you missed him or if it was just the lack of somebody there. You hoped it was the latter. If not, you needed to have a stern talking-to with yourself. In any case: procuring a drink was the next point on your agenda.

You shuffled through the crowd, wanting to be anywhere else, but you had said you would come, and you always kept your promises. You drew a deep breath and turned to the bar, where you bumped into Loki and his handler, Ben Reed.

Looking at them, you felt even more awkward with your plain, black skirt and blouse. Loki, like everyone else, was wearing black, but the details of his suit and the way he held himself made him look extra dashing and out of place. Standing next to Agent Reed, even more so.

If you squinted, you could just about make out the snakes winding and slithering over the lapels of his jacket, just barely visible when the light hit just right. Most likely sorcery, you thought, and felt bad for Ben, who looked no more than average compared.

“Good evening, Y/N,” Loki said with a polite smile. “Are you here alone tonight?”

“Yes.” Your reply was short and curt, and Loki knew better than to pry.

Agent Reed, however, did not. He looked you up and down. “What’s the matter, Y/N? You look like someone stole your toy.”

You pulled self-consciously on your skirt, slipping the heel of your shoes on and off. “Tommy dumped me last week,” you replied, surprised that it didn’t bring tears to your eyes, and hoping that the information would make him back off. You were in no mood to deal with him today.

You didn’t have anything in particular against Ben as such, it’s just that he had little to no compassion for others, and he had a little too much fun being a power hungry know-it-all. Okay, so maybe you had something against him after all. But you tolerated him because you were co-workers. And you liked being around Loki. Despite his closed-off demeanour and his violent past, he made you laugh with his weird humour and stories. You wouldn’t go so far as to call yourselves friends, but you did enjoy his company at least.

“What?” Reed exclaimed without real feeling. “But he was such a handsome man. You looked so good together.”

You opened your mouth to tell him to kindly fuck off, but Loki beat you to it. “A polished turd is a turd nonetheless, Agent.” He turned to you and inclined his head slightly. “If you require my assistance, fair Y/N, I know several ways to maim and disembowel someone without taking their lives –“ He winked at you, but Reed frowned.

“Now now, Loki. You are still on probation, remember? Talk like that can get you in trouble.”

You rolled your eyes. “Only if you rat on him, Ben. It’s not Loki’s fault you’ve no humour.” Turning back to Loki, you were smiling for the first time in what felt like ages. “Thank you, but no thanks. I greatly appreciate the offer, but Tommy doesn’t deserve another thought from me.”

“I wholeheartedly agree. Maybe you would like to accompany the Agent and myself? There is an empty table over there. What would you like to drink?”

You caught the eyes of the bartender, who sidled over to the three of you. “One rum and coke. With a lime wedge, please. Thank you.”

Holding up a finger, Benjamin nodded. “Beer.”

“And for you?” the bartender asked Loki.

“Brillet, please. Grande Champagne, if you have.”

A couple of minutes later, you were making your way to the empty table, just far enough from the biggest crowds to be able to talk, but close enough that you could zone out without it turning too awkward. 

The evening turned out a lot better than you feared. One drink turned to two, turned to three, and the conversation flowed freely, only interrupted by loud outbursts of laughter. You even bobbed your foot to the music.

“Please excuse me,” Loki said, rising from the table. “Oh, no need to follow,” he added when Reed moved to get up too. “I just have to visit the restroom. Don’t worry. You’d know it if I tried anything.” He lifted his trouser leg slightly to reveal a sleek, black device. You knew they were monitoring him, but an ankle bracelet? So many questions filled your brain.

Reed seemed satisfied, and lowered himself back into the chair. Once Loki was out of earshot, he blew out a loud breath. “Jesus! I’m so sick of this. Following his every move. That goddamn weaselly face of his… I swear I’ll go mental one day!”

You frowned. It couldn’t be that bad. “You don’t have to follow him, you know. I’m sure he’s –“

“Loki is a war criminal, Y/N. He’ll never be a good citizen; evil is in his spine. But I guess you’re too blinded by his charm to see it.”

That was unnecessary harsh, you thought. Since the invasion of New York you had never seen Loki do anything illegal, and you were a firm believer in second chances and judging by what people did rather than what they had done. Reed, on the other hand… Apparently he held grudges, and when he decided he didn’t like you, well, then everybody knew it.

When Loki came back, looking fresh as always, Reed got to his feet. “I’m sure you can keep an eye at him,” he said to you, nodding to Loki. “I’m gonna…” He didn’t finish his sentence, but ploughed his way through the crowd towards a beautiful redhead dancing on her own by the DJ booth.

“Wow, that was sudden,” you said with a smile. “Not that I’m sad he left.”

Loki nodded, a smug smile spreading over his face. “I’m afraid he doesn’t like me very much.”

You watched as Reed tried and failed to grab the woman’s hand. A giggle escaped before you caught yourself, and you turned back to Loki. “Why? I mean, there’s the… but you’ve been very well behaved after, and he wasn’t even stationed in New York.”

Loki sipped his cognac, watching Reed’s efforts with amusements. “Well, he’s not very good with the ladies,” he said as if that would explain everything.   
You gestured for him to continue.

“Last month he asked out a colleague, Annette was her name, I believe, but she turned him down. Rather harshly too, I’m afraid.”

“Oh? How?” You felt curiosity grow in your chest. His luck with the ladies couldn’t have anything to do with Loki, but then you remembered his comment earlier.  
Loki shrugged just as the woman was joined by her friends, taking Reed by surprise. You both snorted into your drinks. “She told him that she would rather go on a date with me than spend an evening with him.”

“Ouch.”

“That is the correct term, yes. Ever since, his behaviour towards me has been increasingly colder.”

“Not your fault, though,” you offered, swinging your glass a little too vigorously, sloshing the drink over the edge. “Ben is rude. He doesn’t understand – see?”

The redhead slapped him hard across the cheek and turned to her friends, who were all laughing. Fuming, he returned to the table, and you hastily tried to look like you hadn’t been watching.

“Come on,” he growled, gesturing to Loki. “It’s time to go.”

Looking between them, you frowned. You weren’t at all ready to end the evening, and you were contemplating suggesting that you could take custody of Loki for the reminder of the night, but that probably weren’t a good idea anyway.

“Have a pleasant rest of the evening, Y/N,” Loki said, lifting your hand to his lips with a wink. Behind his back you could practically see smoke billowing from Ben’s ears. “Until our next meeting.”

It didn’t take long to finish your drink and call for a cab. The sudden stop to your talk with Loki reminded you that you came to the party alone, and that thought sent a wave of sadness and anger through you, and a short car ride later, you aggressively kicked off your shoes and stomped to bed without removing your makeup or clothes.

A week later you were sitting by your desk, trying to plot numbers into an Excel spreadsheet and not dying of boredom, when Miriam from floor three handed you a thick envelope. “You’ve got a mission,” she said before hurrying back to the elevator.

You opened the folder and pulled out a good pile of papers stamped CONFIDENTIAL in bright, red ink. Most of them contained notes and reports on Loki: his crimes and his progress, and you skimmed through it. As far as you could see he had done nothing to warrant suspicion the last three years, only minor pranks and general mischief, most of which, to be frank, you found hilarious. 

The four last pages of the document contained a rough outline of a plan, and notes on Loki’s magic. A yellow post-it fluttered to the floor. When you picked it up, it revealed a time and location for a meeting. A quick glance at your calendar made you sweat. Tomorrow.

Loki was already there when you arrived, coffee in hand. Considering how he had treated the other agents (and to be fair, you couldn’t really blame him), you had decided to try to start on his good side, so you brought him a coffee as well. 

“Morning,” you yawned, sliding the styrofoam cup over the table. It was too early to warrant a full sentence yet.

“Good morning, Y/N.” His voice was silky and suspicious. Clearly he hadn’t been informed of the change yet. You wondered if it was intentional, or if Agent Reed had just upped and fucked off the second he got the all clear.

Director Fury waltzed into the room moments later, followed by two agents you had never seen before. “Good. You’re both here. Please have a seat, Agent Y/N,” he added when you got to your feet.

Loki narrowed his eyes. “What the hell is going on, Fury?”

You swallowed, hoping your first task wouldn’t be cleaning up a showdown between the two. Because you were pretty certain it wouldn’t be pretty.  
Fury smirked. “I have good news for you. Agent Reed resigned.”

You felt your face twitch as Loki leaned back into his chair and visibly relaxed. It was difficult to decipher his face, but you thought you could see a drop of relief in his eyes.

“However,” Fury continued, “I think you know we can’t just let you roam free. You have still to prove your allegiance. So I have assigned a new agent to keep you company.”

Nodding, you gave Loki a tight-lipped smile and a small salute with your coffee cup. Behind you the two agents tightened their grips on whatever weapons they were carrying.

Needing to diffuse the tension, you threw out your arms. “Tadaa. Could be worse, right?”

Loki remained silent, and you prayed he wouldn’t blow up. After a couple of uncomfortable minutes, he seemed to sink back in his chair. “Could be worse.”

Fury slid a folder across the table. “Good. That’s that out of the way. Do try to be a little excited, Loki. I thought you didn’t get along with Agent Reed.”

Loki caught the folder and read through the assignment. Once he was done, he groaned and rolled his eyes.

“We are in the process of finding a new apartment for you,” Fury said, ignoring Loki’s silent protest. “There is little in the vicinity of Y/N, but we will have a place ready within the next week or so.”

You looked at Loki, slumped in the chair, and Fury, oblivious to what was the real problem here. “Um, I have a suggestion,” you began, feeling all eyes on you and squirming in your seat. “If you need me to be closer… How about I move instead? It’s no problem for me to rent out my apartment. I have no sentimental ties to it, especially after…” You cleared your throat, shoving the memories of finding Tommy on your couch with some random chick to the back of your mind. What he had thought bringing her to your place instead of his own you didn’t know, but then again he had been absolutely sloshed. “Anyway, I’m sure it’s easier for me to move to the other side of the city?” 

Hoping Fury would at least consider it, you glanced at Loki through the corner of your eyes. His back sat straighter, and he had moved to the edge of his seat. Maybe it would be a bearable arrangement after all.

“I’m sorry,” Fury said. “We have no one to relocate in that area. But…” He suddenly got a sly look in his eye. “Loki. You have a spare room, do you not? That would make it much easier for us.”

“What? Absolutely not!” His face clouded over, and you could practically sense the fire in his eyes. Okay, so this wouldn’t be easy after all.

What followed was a staring contest that would have even the testosterone filled tomcat slinking away to hide under the stairs. But eventually Loki inhaled and rubbed his temples. It looked like he mouthed “Fine,” but other than that he gave no indication that he was okay with the arrangement.

“So that’s decided. How soon can you move, Y/N?”

Feeling slightly dizzy from the power display that just played out, you hesitated. “Uh… whenever, really. Depends how much I have to bring with me.”


	2. Part two

Three days later a black car dropped you off along with a large suitcase and a backpack. An agent helped you unload the car, then sped off, not wanting to spend more time than necessary with Loki. He greeted you with a sour smile, but offered to carry your suitcase, which was at least something, you thought with a grimace.  
Halfway up the staircase, an old head poked out from the first floor door, curious eyes peering at the two of you. Loki offered a happy hello, and you nodded politely. The eyes lit up.

“Hello,” their owner said. “Are you moving in? Is she your girlfriend, Loki, dear?”

You both shook your heads vigorously. “Oh no, Mrs Martin. Y/N is just… a friend… and she needed a place to stay for a while. Until she can go back to her own place,” he added, and you weren’t sure whose ears it was meant for. 

“Well, welcome to the neighbourhood, dearie,” Mrs Martin grinned. “It was about time Loki found a friend. You must be awfully lonely up there, all on your own. That, that other one who came to visit sometimes, what was his name, I didn’t like him.” She turned her eyes on you. “You take good care of Loki now. He’s ever so helpful when we need something, both me and Mr Howard in number 15, always fetching Alfie when he gets stuck in the tree, I don’t know how he does it.”

You shifted on the stairs. The backpack weighed more than you had expected. Rolling your shoulders, you gave a soft smile to Loki. You always knew he wasn’t as bad as they said he was.

“Oh my,” Mrs Martin said. “Of course, you’re busy, and here I am prattling on. Well, welcome, Y/N. It’s so good to see him with a friend. I’ll let you to get settled now.” She winked and disappeared back in her own apartment. 

“Wow,” you mouthed.

Loki grimaced. “She’s usually much more talkative. But she’s a nice old lady. If it wasn’t for that hellish cat of hers…” He thought for a moment. “She always brings me leftover casserole on Sundays, too. It’s not edible, though…”

You tried to suppress a giggle, but it escaped as an ugly snort. Clapping a hand over your mouth to shut up, you almost missed the satisfied grin on Loki’s face.

The apartment was only on the second floor, fortunately, and relatively big considering its location. SHIELD evidently had used some influence in an attempt to placate Loki. He must have been sick and tired of moving every couple of months, which was, you suspected, why he hadn’t protested more.

“Shoes off,” he said, and you noticed his slippers for the first time.

Trying to seem graceful and dignified, you pulled off your boots, but the backpack slid over the back of your head and made you topple over into the wall. With a silent chuckle, Loki grabbed you and the backpack and turned you right side up. 

You followed him into the apartment, face burning with embarrassment and hoping this wouldn’t be your new norm.

“This will be your chamber,” he said, bringing you out of your thoughts. The room in question was a cosy east facing room. It was a bit on the smaller side, but with a king size bed stretching almost from wall to wall, leaving only enough space for a small bedside table on each side and a nice dresser in the corner. The soft moss colour of the carpet went well with the greyish blue walls, and together with the sunlight through the window you were sure this would be a nice place to stay.

You considered it for a bit, then dropped your backpack on the floor and flung yourself onto the bed, bouncing a couple of times before coming to a rest. It was so soft you had to giggle. “This’ll do,” you said when you spotted Loki standing in the doorway with your suitcase. “Add a few personal touches here and there… Yeah, it’ll do.”

Loki motioned for you to follow him again, and you scooted off the bed. He pointed you in the direction of the kitchen, a large, modern space, and then the bathroom. There was only one you noted, a bit sceptical – and then he stopped outside the door to a west facing room. “Off limits,” he said, placing his hand on the door. It crackled like snow on a freezing day.

“Why?” In your mind you pictured a secret lab or something.

He looked at you as if you were exceptionally stupid. “Because I like my privacy,” he replied flatly.

“Of course. Your room. No go. Got it.” Finger guns. Oh, god. Why were you like this? Trying to make things as normal as possible, you put your hands in your pockets and rocked back and forth on your toes. “So, what do you do then? When you don’t have an assignment, I mean.”

Loki looked puzzled for a moment, but he apparently decided to play along. “I read,” he said, turning back to the living room. “Watch TV sometimes. I get a lot of free time. SHIELD doesn’t trust me to go on missions yet.”

The realisation punched you in the chest. He must be so bored! And you couldn’t imagine any of the other agents doing anything to lessen his days. That settled it: you were going to do your best to make sure Loki felt appreciated. Maybe then he would come out of his shell and show SHIELD that he was dependable.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in the living room, reading. Don’t disturb me. Even better: stay in your room, and everything will be almost as normal.” He wafted you away with a superior look in his face.

You closed your eyes and exhaled deeply. This was unacceptable. “Listen, Loki,” you said with your best Mum-voice. “We’re living together now. It has been decided, there’s nothing to do about it. You don’t have to like it, hell, I’m not particularly happy about the arrangement either.” Though you’re probably unhappier than me, you added in your mind. “Let’s at least try to make the best of it.” Stop acting like a sulking child.

Loki stiffened for a second, but then he seemed to melt. “I apologise,” he said after a short, uncomfortable silence. “Of course you did not choose this. I will try to be civil.”

You smiled widely. “Thank you. Now what do you want for dinner? It’s my first day here. Considering it a peace offering.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

The knock on the door was soft, but unmistakable. Grimacing, you looked at the clock on the wall. It wasn’t even six yet, and the only reason you were up this early was because you had had a minor nightmare. Not wanting to go back to sleep and risk facing your fears again, you had decided to surprise Loki with breakfast.  
Peering through the spy hole, you saw two agents with a large briefcase. What could they possibly want at this hour?

“Good… morning,” you offered as you opened the door.

“Morning, Agent Y/N.” They pushed their way past you without an invitation. “Where is Loki?”

“He’s… sleeping.”

“Go get him.”

“But… he expressly told me not to come into his room.”

The agent shrugged. “Well, I’m not coming back anytime soon. Either you go get him, or –“

You held up your hands. “No, I’ll get him. Two, uh two seconds.” Leaving the agents in the hallway, you shuffled over to Loki’s room, silently cursing them for coming at such an ungodly hour. You hesitated for a moment before knocking, remembering the crackling and Loki’s warning. It had only been a week, but a quick glance over your shoulder made up your mind for you. The agents were getting impatient.

Nothing happened when you knocked. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door slightly. “Loki? You awake?”

The room was dark, but in the soft light from the hallway you could see it was filled with books and magical knick-knacks. At least that was what you thought they were. A couple of succulents adorned his windowsill, and foreign symbols hung on the walls. 

Loki was sleeping on his stomach, blanket partially discarded on the floor, revealing a dark t-shirt and a pair of pyjama pants that left practically nothing to your imagination. The light hit his face, and he stirred, twisting his body to look at you with drowsy eyes. “What?” He blinked in confusion and indignation.

“I’m sorry for waking you, but there’s someone here to see you. They didn’t say what they wanted, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to miss them.”

Looking slightly dishevelled, but more put together than you did when rudely awakened from deep sleep, Loki emerged with a frown. “What is it?” When he saw the agents standing in the hallway, he straightened his back. With a flick of his wrist, his clothes shimmered, and suddenly he was wearing a crisp, white shirt and suit trousers. 

The change made the agents gasp, and you noted the satisfied smirk that flitted over Loki’s face. 

The agent with the suitcase cleared his throat. “Agent Y/N has asked your tracking monitor to be removed, and SHIELD has decided to comply with her request. If you would kindly sit down for us. Thank you.”

Loki shot you a confused look before leading them into the living room, where he sat down on the edge of the sofa. He looked uncomfortable, like he was ready to defend himself if this turned out to be a trap.

Unpacking his suitcase, the agent got to work removing the ankle bracelet. Several codes and keys were required to unlock it, and then to disarm the alarm.  
While his partner worked, the other agent turned to you. “Now, Agent Y/N, I trust you understand that you cannot be allowed to keep arms in the apartment with Loki unmonitored, so we ask you surrender any weapons you have to us. They will be delivered to the headquarters and returned to you upon need.”

In your mind you rolled your eyes, but out loud you said: “Of course.” You hurried to your room and unlocked the drawer you kept your gun in and returned with the case in a flash. 

The agent looked doubtful, weighing the case in his hand. “Is this all?” 

“Yes,” you replied. You had never been very fond of weapons. “Well, I do have a baseball bat by my bed, but that’s –“

“Not a weapon,” he finished for you. 

The other agent smacked the lid of his suitcase and got to his feet. “Alright. Let’s roll.” You led him to the door.

Loki rolled his ankle and twisted to warm it up. He looked up when the second agent remained. “Can I help you?”

“Piece of advice,” he said before following the other agent out. “She trusts you more than I do. More than any other agent in SHIELD. Do not abuse that trust.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Loki? Is that you?” You weren’t easily spooked, but you grabbed your baseball bat just to be safe. It had been a gift from your Dad the first time you moved to live on your own, and it had stayed with you – unused and collecting dust – ever since.

Opening the bedroom door slowly, you peeked through the slit. The apartment was dark. It was past midnight after all. 

As you moved as silently as you could through the hallway to the living room, you kept your eyes open and a firm grip on the bat.

No sounds. That was strange. You could have sworn you heard something – a sudden creak behind you made you spin on the spot, and you swung the bat like a pro – straight through a dissolving, dark figure.

Laughter erupted behind you, and you turned again, this time with rising anger in your chest. Your heart hammered in your throat, and your ears were buzzing. You felt like screaming, but to your credit, you swallowed it, opting for a steely glare instead.

Loki was nearly crying with laughter. “You – you-hoo should have seen your face,” he started, but you cut him off. The moon shone through the window, lengthening the shadows in the room, and sharpening his features. He looked every bit the prince he was, but you ignored that for now.

Pushing the tip of the bat to his chest, you marched him backwards until he stumbled over a fold in the carpet and toppled into the armchair. “That was not funny!”

He grinned. “Yes, it was. You looked like you saw a ghost. Are you afraid of the dark, Y/N?” His voice changed, and his body shifted, and suddenly three copies circled you, making the hairs on your neck rise.

“Stop it!” Truth be told, the dark always had you just a little bit on edge. You weren’t exactly scared of ghosts and monsters; it was more just not being able to see what was out there.

His clones inched closer, and goosebumps spread down your spine and arms too. “I said stop it!” You tried to sound angry, but the pure joy on Loki’s face made it hard to mean it. It was rare to see him smile, and smiles like that felt like winning the lottery. But you were still annoyed that he scared you.

One by one the clones disappeared, and you lowered the bat. “I swear, Loki, if you ever pull a stunt like that again I will defenestrate you! Don’t think I won’t.”  
That made him giggle, and despite yourself, you joined in.

“Well, that was interesting,” Loki said when you fell silent again. “You don’t like the dark –“

“I don’t like you.”

“You do!” He smirked. “You don’t like the dark, but you’re not afraid to explore it. Hmm.” He got up and brushed off his pyjama trousers. “Go back to sleep, Y/N. I am the most dangerous thing in the darkness here, and I won’t hurt you. I promise.” Glancing at the windows, he continued in a lighter voice: “At any rate, I like it here. The landlord won’t be pleased if you break his windows, huh.”

You nodded, but remained. What did he mean by saying that he was the most dangerous thing in the darkness? He didn’t really believe… “Loki,” you began, but you didn’t know what to say. 

He no doubt picked up on the shift, because his face softened just a little bit. “Go back to sleep,” he repeated. “I promise I won’t make any more scary sounds in the night. And I do believe I owe you a proper breakfast for that little trick,” he added, striding past you with a little nod, and closing his bedroom door softly behind him. The lock clicked loudly.

“Yes, you do,” you muttered, shuffling back to your own room. Now that the danger was over, the adrenaline that kept you awake and alert was quickly fading, leaving you exhausted and filled with thoughts of Loki’s mental well-being.

Sunday came, and you were sitting in the living room scrolling mindlessly on your laptop, looking at memes and cute videos of kittens. Loki was sitting in his chair by the window as usual, reading a book in some foreign language you didn’t know. It was a lazy day, and you savoured it.

There was a knock on the door and you looked at Loki as if to ask if he expected visitors. He only grinned and nodded towards the door.

Outside was the old neighbour, Mrs Martin, and she was carrying a large pot. “I made enough for the two of you to share,” she said, holding up the pot higher. It smelled dreadful, but you smiled and took it anyway. “Thank you, Mrs Martin.”

“Oh, call me Lydia. And it’s my pleasure. Just come down with the pot when you’re done, that’s a good girl.”

“I will. Have a good day, Lydia.”

Closing the door behind you with your foot, you lifted the lid on the pot and immediately regretted it. Swallowing a gag, you handed the pot to Loki. “Get rid of this, will you?” You covered your nose and returned to your laptop. “Please?” you added when Loki remained seated.

He took the pot with him, and soon after you heard the toilet flush. When he came back, he wore a shit-eating grin. “I did warn you.”

“That you did. Maybe I’ll buy her a cooking class for Christmas.”

Loki shook his head. “Don’t bother. I already tried, and Mrs Martin is too fond of experimenting.”

The third time you talked to Mrs Martin, you had lived in the apartment for a good month, and you had settled in quite nicely. She was knocking on your door again, asking for help to get Alfie down from the tree. 

Loki was pulling on his shoes, and you were trying to be amiable, attempting a bit of small talk, though it was never your forte. 

Suddenly Mrs Martin set her dark eyes in you and gave you a knowing smile. “So, when are you two getting married?”

You almost choked on air, sputtering unintelligible noises while shaking your head.

“We’re not together, Mrs Martin,” Loki replied patiently, which took you by an even bigger surprise. You would have thought he’d at least be annoyed, but he smiled gently and walked past her down the stairs.

“I’ve told you to call me Lydia,” Mrs Martin called after him. “And don’t worry, dearie,” she said to you. “He’ll propose soon. I can see the love in his eyes.” She winked at you, then walked after Loki as fast as her short legs could carry her, leaving you staring after her in the doorway.

She was mistaken, of course she was. She had to be. Loki merely tolerated you. He didn’t… The thought had never even crossed your mind. You’ve grown to like him more and more over the weeks you had lived together, but he had never indicated… Shaking your head, you closed the door behind you and went to watch the spectacle from the kitchen window.

Loki was scaling the tree with grace, but convincing the menace of a cat to come with him was more work than you had expected. After closely avoiding sharp claws a few times, he finally got a hold of Alfie and tucked him securely under his arm before dropping back into the grass.


	3. Part three

The months passed quickly as you and Loki settled into a sort of quiet routine together. You learned a lot about him; his favourite books, that he preferred the autumn to the summer, and that he was surprisingly gentle if you only allowed him to be.

Another thing you learned quickly was that Loki preferred a savoury breakfast. He was usually up before you anyway, and had eggs and bacon ready when you stumbled into the kitchen fantasising about extra strong coffee. 

But every now and then you woke early, either because you had extra work to do, or simply because you couldn’t sleep, and then you made pancakes. The first time that happened, Loki scoffed.

“Pancakes are a dessert, Y/N. Not a breakfast food.”

Shrugging, you continued cutting berries into halves. “Well then, Loki, let’s be adults and have dessert for breakfast. What’s stopping us? I mean, if you aren’t.”

Rolling his eyes, Loki looked at you as if you were crazy, but he sat down to eat anyway, and by the second pancake he was positively glowing.

Once you were full and had moved to the living room again, you decided to get some work done. Having a home office was a plus with this new mission. You didn’t even want to think about the looks from the other agents in the office if you had to come in every day.

“Hey, I read a book I think you’ll like,” you said, producing a battered soft cover from your bag and tossing it at Loki.

Of course he caught it just before it hit his head. Sharp reflexes were another skill you noted behind your ear. “Something from the Nightside?” He frowned, turning the book over to read the back. After a short silence, he opened it to the first page. “Thank you.” You heard nothing much from him for the rest of the day, but when the clock struck five, he asked you if you had book number two too. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Loki looked like a thundercloud, even more so than he used to. His eyes were dark grey, and his face was drawn. He had pulled his lips into a tight sneer that never seemed to loosen, and when he moved through the flat, it sounded like he was trying to stomp the pictures off the walls.

You tried to mind your own business, as you usually did when he had these little moods, but this time he was infecting you as well. By lunchtime you were both on the verge of war.

After his fifth groan in the span of two minutes, you walked over and sat down on the sofa next to him. “Bad day?” It was obvious, but you had to try to be understanding if you were going to get through the day alive.

“You could say that. I’ve got a headache that would even put a frost giant to shame. And yes, I am aware of the irony in that. Don’t talk to me.”

You let out a small huff; surprised he was even answering, let alone giving you a reason. “Oh. Should I go get a –“ 

“No. I’ve tried everything. Nothing works. After the… incident in 2012, my head sometimes feels like it’s about to implode.” He rubbed his eyes and got up.

“Wait,” you said, your own frustrations dissipating fast, pulling him back down by his sleeve. “May I try something? My sister used to get these horrible migraines and the only thing that helped was when… I played with her hair.” It sounded silly, and you cringed having suggested it to a man who were considered a god by some.

“Fine. Why not?” He shrugged and scooted closer to you. 

You blinked. He was really that desperate. That headache must really be of another world. “Wait here,” you muttered and went to close the curtains. On your way back, you flicked off the light too. The darkness was almost complete, and the only thing providing some light for you to navigate by was the blinking green light from the internet router behind the TV. 

Keeping your voice as airy and light as you could, you climbed onto the backrest of the sofa and asked Loki to lean on your knees. “Close your eyes if you can. And let me know if I pull too hard.” As gently as you could, you separated his hair into equal parts. It was softer than you had expected, and you let it glide over your fingers before gathering it in your hand again. Suddenly you had an inexplicable urge to sniff it, but you resisted, and started braiding instead.

Small warrior style braids on the side of his head met larger ones in the back, and once all of his hair was done, you ran your fingers through and loosened it again. Twisting a lock into a knot, then releasing it again made him sigh loudly. Combing your hands up through his hair and running your fingers over his scalp had him sag against your knees. You smiled. 

You had played with his hair for over an hour, and to be honest you had forgotten that it was supposed to be for his benefit, not yours. It was just that his hair was so incredibly silky and luxurious to touch that you lost yourself completely in the sensation. It wasn’t until his head lolled over and rested heavily on your knees and thighs that you returned to reality.

Loki had fallen asleep while you played, and the peaceful look in his face made you all tingly and warm inside. Without jostling him too much, you slid out from underneath him and lowered him back on the sofa. He sniffed and clutched a cushion to his chest with a tiny, tiny smile. Fighting the urge to go get your phone to snap a picture, you grabbed the nearest blanket and draped it over him. It was your time to make lunch anyway.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

You stumbled through the door, knocking over the umbrella stand, a pair of wellingtons, and the coat stand, scattering jackets and scarves all over the floor. “Shhh…” you hissed, gesturing to the pile of clothes before clutching your mouth gingerly. “Owww.”

“Isn’t it a bit early to be drunk, Y/N? While I completely understand, I thought it was generally frowned upon to drink in the daytime.” Loki was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning on the frame with a spatula in his hand. 

“Not drunk.” Rubbing your jaw, you felt tears pool in your eyes. Great! Now you were crying too.

Taking you by the arm, Loki supported you into the living room, making sure you were comfortable on the sofa before stepping away, his face stiff and cold. “What happened? Who did this to you? Were you on a mission? I thought you had desk duty while minding me.”

You shook your head, but that made you dizzy, so you stopped. As you opened your mouth to answer, a long string of saliva dripped out. Your ears burned as you wiped your mouth on your sleeve. “Dentist.”

Loki frowned.

“Had to fix a cavity,” you muttered, sinking deeper into the soft cushions. “Don’t react too good to local anaesthesia. Fuzzy,” you added, tapping the side of your face with a languid finger. “Sleep?”

Loki nodded. “Yes. Maybe you’ll be more comfortable in your bed?” he asked, but you were already snoring. Smiling to himself, he fetched a blanket and draped it over you and brushed away a stray lock of hair from your eyes. “Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

A couple of hours later you woke up feeling like someone had punched you in the face. Your jaw was pounding, and the corner of your mouth felt stretched and cracked. Groaning, you pulled the blanket over your head, dreading the short walk to the kitchen for water and painkillers.

When the pain got too much to endure anymore, and you decided you would finally brave the walk, you carefully sat up, sliding your legs over the edge of the sofa. The movement made your head swim, but you steeled yourself.

Giving yourself an extra push to get up, you noticed a glass of water and two aspirin on the table. “Huh. Past me was pretty smart. I’m amazed I had the awareness to even find this,” you muttered.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

You had lived together for almost a year. It was a comfortable partnership, and you had found you really liked Loki. His calm demeanour and creative humour was a welcome contrast to the monotonous days in the office. Whenever you had the opportunity, you opted to work from home. 

“I’m heading out. You want something from the shops?” Loki called from the door.

Jumping out of your chair, you tried to stop him. “Hey wait up!” You hobbled after him, trying to pull on your boots while walking.

He turned around, looking inconvenienced as always. When you caught up with him, he grimaced, picking a piece of lint off your jumper. “What?”

You smiled and finally managed to wrestle your foot down into the boot. “Nothing. Just figured I’d come with you. Can’t have a repeat of the Chocolate Incident.” You made a show of shuddering, exaggerating both movement and sound.

“Right,” Loki replied with a roll of his eyes, but there was a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. “The Chocolate Incident.”

The memory made you both wince and smile. It seemed so long ago now, just after you had moved in: you had woken up from your back aching, making it difficult to turn over in the bed, and as you lay there trying to ignore the pain, another one punched you in the guts. Days like these were the worst.

Sliding out of the bed, you pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants and wrapped yourself in the blanket, not bothering with changing out of your sleep shirt. Your hair fell in knotted tufts in your face. Blowing them away didn’t help, so you let them be and continued to the kitchen.

You stopped in the door, watching as Loki cooked. With a sigh you entered the room: you really just wanted to be alone and wallow in self-pity. This was not a situation that had crossed your mind when you had been forced to volunteer for the mission.

Loki turned around, on his way to put a spatula in the dishwasher when he spotted you. “Good grief. Are you sick?” He looked at you with distant concern, and you felt tears pool in your eyes.

Blinking them away, you shook your head to buy your voice enough time. “Shark week,” you muttered.

He frowned and tilted his head. “I don’t really see how a TV programme has anything to do with your condition. Do you want me to call a doctor?”

Sighing again, you rolled your eyes, not wanting to have to explain. “I’ll be okay. Just gimme the chocolate in the back of the small cupboard and nobody gets hurt. My back hurts like a motherfucker, and satan’s waterfall isn’t making things any better,” you said, gesturing to the general area of concern.

“What? …oh.” With that realisation he turned to the cupboard in question. “Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate…” For a moment he was silent, moving the other contents around on the shelf before freezing. “Oh. That chocolate.” He sucked air through his teeth and turned slowly to face you. “I… am truly sorry,” he said, and his face showed exactly that. “When I could not sleep the other night, I… Had I known it was your… time, I would have replaced it immediately.”

You groaned to stop yourself from crying, and turned dramatically on your heels. Marching through the hallway, you growled: “I’ll be in my room if you need me. Don’t disturb me unless it’s an emergency.”

There was a half eaten packet of Twizzlers in the bedside table, and luckily you had a handful of painkillers, but you weren’t going to forgive Loki anytime soon. That chocolate was your favourite, and it was notoriously hard to find, so when you did find it, you hoarded and saved it for difficult days. Like this day.

Shaking yourself out of the memory, you smiled to Loki and followed him down the stairs.

Loki’s preferred shop was just around the corner; a medium sized shop with an amazing fresh produce section, and you liked it because they had several aisles of candy.

“Hey, can we get PopTarts?”

Loki turned, looking like an exasperated parent dealing with an annoying kid. “Absolutely not!”

“Aw, why?” you pouted.

“Because that’s a sure way to attract my brother, and I am not in the mood to deal with him these days.”

“Ooh. I’d love to meet Thor some day,” you thought out loud. 

Loki glared at you.

Holding up your hands, you smiled apologetically. “Okay, okay. But then we have to buy cookies.”

Loki sighed and shook his head in defeat. “Why do you have to be so happy all the time?” 

“Because we’re shopping for candy.”

“We’re not just shopping for candy. What do you want for dinner?”

Your eyes lit up. You didn’t often get to choose. “Spaghetti.”

“Again?” He made a weird face, but put a packet of pasta in the shopping basket.

You stuck out your tongue. “So I like pasta. Sue me.”

“Don’t think that would do any good,” he snickered, continuing to the next aisle. “Pretty sure they’d rule in your favour.”

A distant rumble made you both stop in your tracks. Another one came, followed by a loud chime from your phone. The chocolate in your hand was immediately forgotten when you read the text: “Code RED. Report to HQ.”


	4. Part four

You beckoned to Loki. “Come on. They’ve called me in.”

He sighed heavily, but followed you through the shop, still carrying the shopping basket. “Oh joy! I guess there’s no time to drop me off before you go?”

Looking down on the phone in your hand, you shook your head. They wouldn’t send a text like that if it weren’t urgent. “Sorry. Guess you’ll have to wait in the car or something. I’ll drop you off once I get my assignment.”

Loki shrugged. “I should’ve brought my book.” He put down the shopping basket next to the cashier and nodded politely as you left. Better he put the items back on the shelves than leaving the basket in an aisle somewhere. Besides, you doubted he would mind much. 

He had developed a little crush on you both, and you had yet to come up with a good way to let him down gently. Loki had jokingly suggested gauging the poor guy’s eyes out. After laughing it off, you still weren’t a hundred percent sure he was joking. 

Another solution had popped into your mind too, but you had dismissed it just as quickly: pretending to date each other would probably get him off your back, but that would place you in an uncomfortable position. For your part, the pretend part would hurt a little too much for your liking. 

Loki’s book remark made you wonder. “What do you mean you should’ve brought a book?” The car roared to life.

“Waiting out missions tend to get tedious,” he explained patiently, leaning his temple on the window. “Especially after they got their hands on those cursed manacles. I blame Thor for that.” His eyes darkened. Frost swirled over the glass.

“It’s happened before?” You almost stopped the car on the side of the road, but a fleeting image of Maria Hill’s disapproving face popped into your head. “More than once?”

Loki nodded. “Oh yes. Before Agent Powell they would not let me out of their sight at all. Made for some interesting days, I’ll tell you. Even when Agent Reed took over my… care, I was confined to a cell or the back of a vehicle when he was needed somewhere else. Granted, their missions were less frequent than other’s, but yes, I’ve seen my fair share. I imagine – hey! Watch out!”

The road in front of you exploded in purple, and you swerved, barely avoiding hitting the lump of unidentifiable mass in front of the car. You sped up, muttering under your breath. “What the hell?”

“I made a habit of always carrying something to read,” Loki continued, unperturbed. 

As you got closer to HQ, you got closer to the fighting as well, but for a tiny second all you could see was Loki’s dejected expression. Patting his knee, you tried an encouraging smile. “Listen, I’ll try to… I can’t promise anything, but…” You fell silent for a while before muttering: “At least I’ll make sure you’ve got a book.”

The large, dark grey gate loomed over you, and you flashed your ID to the guard in the booth. He nodded to you and took an extra good look at Loki before waving you through.

Parking in the lot behind the lab, you marched quickly to the office building. “You better wait outside,” you said, gesturing to the long line of personnel vehicles.   
“I know the drill,” Loki replied and turned right by the door.

Inside, Director Fury himself was involved in handing out the assignments, together with Agent Hill. An uncomfortable pressure settled in your chest. The situation must be really bad, but you took a seat next to Agent Torres and a new recruit you hadn’t seen before. Shaking your head slightly, you thought about how the recruits seemed younger every year.

Agent Hill quickly briefed the room on the situation while Fury stood in the background looking grim, but collected. Nothing threw that man out of balance.  
“We have yet to determine the origin of the attackers,” Hill said, confirming your suspicions, and allowing for a collective gasp to go through the crowd.

Uncertain origin always meant aliens, extra-terrestrials. You swore silently. There would be a lot of casualties.

Hill continued: “The Avengers have been notified and will focus on the main threat, aided by the armed forces. Your mission will be damage control and civilian evacuation.” They had put together a pretty decent plan in such a short time, and you wondered if they had one ready, and just changed the dates and locations according to need. Soon you were queuing up to get your assigned tasks.

The recruit in front of you let out a curse on a trembling breath.

“Hey, don’t be scared,” you whispered. “We’ve been through worse. Just stick to your mentor and everything will be okay.”

He nodded and squared his shoulder, before hurrying after a more experienced agent. Rubbing you eyes, you tried not to think too hard: he wouldn’t last through the day if he didn’t manage to get his nerves in check.

When it was your turn, Maria handed you a big, yellow folder. “You’ve been assigned to Sector 3; yellow. Some families, mostly senior citizens and immigrants. How’s your Spanish?”

“Non-existing,” you replied with a grimace, taking the folder and headed for the exit. Just as you reached the door, you turned back.

“Yes?” she said. The question must have been obvious in your face.

“Ma’am, as I have custody of Loki –“ 

“He knows the routine,” Fury interrupted.

“Yes, sir. About that… I would like to request him coming with me on this assignment.”

Hill raised and eyebrow, but Fury nodded once. “And he will. The handcuffs are being brought down as we speak.

Inhaling deeply, you decided to just jump in. “I meant with us, as an agent. He –“

“Agent Y/N, that would be unwise. Loki is hard to control.”

“With all due respect, Sir, I believe he has proved himself trustworthy. Since I took over the charge, he has had several chances to do ill, but he has refrained from doing so. He is on good terms with the neighbours, and the community knows him as a helpful person. Hell, Lydia, uh, Mrs Martin all but worships the ground he walks on – though I’m not sure that counts in his favour,” you added silently. Looking up at both Fury and Hill, you tightened your jaw, pulling out your last argument. “God knows we need an extra pair of hands, and he is experienced in combat, should it come to that.”

“Fury, she has a point,” Hill said, surprising you with her support.

“Fine.” Fury rolled his eye. “But that’s your ass on the line. If anything happens – if he tries anything, that’s your responsibility.”

“Understood. And thank you,” you added. You could’ve sworn you saw a smile cross Fury’s face, but it was gone before you really registered it. It might as well have been a figment of your imagination. 

“Run along before I change my mind.”

Outside you ran into Agent Reed. He looked like Christmas had been cancelled. “You’re gonna get us all killed. That blood’s on your hands. Loki can’t be trusted.”

Glaring, you didn’t really want to deign him with an answer, but he blocked your way, and you were getting angry. “We need all hands on deck, Benjamin.” When he didn’t move right away, you raised an eyebrow, staring at him with contempt in your eyes. “And to be honest I trust him more than I trust you. Get lost, Reed.” You pushed your way past him, leaving him looking like a goldfish.

Loki was waiting by the car, eyeing the crate with the magical manacles and the guards standing on each side of the crate. His face was neutral, but you knew he hated those manacles more than anything in the nine realms.

“Looks like you don’t get to sit this one out after all,” you told him with a mischievous grin, clipping in place the clasps on your vest. “Of course I tried to dissuade them, but Fury was adamant it was all hands on deck.”

When he registered what you said, his stance visibly shifted. You hadn’t noticed before, but it was clear he had been slumping. Now he was standing tall, a new spark in his eyes. “Oh no,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “No quiet evening in the back of the truck for me. Whatever shall I do?” As he spoke, his armour grew, and you sucked in an extra breath.

It shouldn’t have affected you the way it did, but the confidence in him at that moment was almost too much to keep you on your feet. Adjusting your earpiece, more to distract yourself than anything else, you manage to shake it off, and opened the car door. “Let’s go.” You held up your hand, and he looked at it, then at you.

With a contemptuous sneer he slapped it, then shook as if he had just touched something slimy. “Never again, Y/N,” he said and slid into the vehicle, pushing the other agent further in.

“Yeah yeah.” You grinned and got in after him. Closing the door with a slam, you knocked on the window to let the driver know the car was ready, and sat down. Seconds later you were en route to the second alien invasion in three years.

The car stopped and the doors opened to reveal a crumbled building. Frightened people were running in every direction. Some tried to jump in standing cars, but the chaos affected the traffic as well. It was a miracle your evacuation convoy had even gotten this far.

Within minutes you were set to work. The team leader had directed you to a pair of buildings that were partially collapsed.

Helping shocked civilians and digging through the rubble together with Loki and the other rescue teams was hard. The concrete crumbled upon touch, releasing puffs of white dust into the air, making it harder to breathe.

Suddenly you stopped in your tracks. You heard whimpering, but it wasn’t coming from the building. Rounding the corner, you spotted a little girl. 

She couldn’t have been more than four or five, and she was completely alone. It was obvious she had been crying, but when you found her she was silent like a stone. Her face was grey with dust, her skin only showing through the paths her tears had taken. 

Someone had already dug her out of the rubble, but for some reason they had left her standing in the piles of concrete. You cursed and reached out to her, but Loki beat you to it.

Crouching down, he stretched out his arms, inviting her to come to him. And she did. “You’re okay now,” he said in perfect Spanish, stroking her hair and brushing dust from her face. “Such a brave little girl. What’s your name?” She didn’t answer, but he continued to talk calmly until he reached the evac bus, where a team of paramedics and agents were ready to take over. 

The girl remained silent until he tried to hand her over to a kindly looking woman with curly hair. She buried her face in Loki’s neck, tangling her fingers in his hair, straight up refusing to acknowledge the woman at all. When she was lifted away from Loki she started wailing. Her tiny hands grabbed the empty air.

It was heart breaking to watch, but you knew she couldn’t stay. At the shelter she would get food and water, and maybe, just maybe, she would find her parents there. 

Loki smiled gently, shushing her and brushing away her tears. “It’s okay, brave one. Don’t be afraid.” He continued to speak for a while, and finally the girl calmed down and allowed them to carry her to the waiting transport.

You got through the day with only a few scrapes on your knuckles and a small cut under your right eye. Loki, of course, looked like he hadn’t even broken a sweat, even though he had lifted and carried and comforted more civilians than the rest of the team combined.

You were slightly envious, but you were also more than ready to forgive him the rudeness of his perfection if that meant you could just go home and collapse on the sofa and do nothing for the next three weeks. Getting rest was the only thing that mattered, and the sole thing standing between you and it was one last check of a nearby kiosk. 

The building was far from safe, and uninjured people had begun to rifle through the scattered goods as people usually do in event of a catastrophe. Your last task as the sun was setting, was to make sure none of the looters were caught if the building collapsed, and to properly block the street after the last evac bus had left.

Suddenly a man came sprinting right at you. Before he stumbled over a pile of concrete, he stopped, panting and watching you with wild eyes. “My wife!” he shouted and started climbing over the rubble. 

“Sir,” you began. “This is not a safe area. Please move.”

He didn’t react. 

“Sir. Your wife is not here. We have scanned the building, it is empty, and those who were buried have been excavated. The evac –“

“Move!” he growled, still advancing, apparently intent on entering the building.

Loki stepped forward. His appearance would stop most men, but this one was clearly not aware of what he was doing, and worse: in his hand he held a big bundle that looked vaguely like a gun.

“Stop,” Loki began, and you reached for his arm.

“Are you insane? You don’t know what he’ll do.”

He grinned widely. “Jury’s still out. Probably lots of people who would argue for it. But trust me. I know what I’m doing. I can help him -”  
“No, Loki! He’s got –“

The man drew the weapon and before you could reach for your own, the street exploded with purple light and a high-pitched screech. You shielded your eyes, expecting to be ripped in half any moment, but you felt no different, and when you looked again the man was sprinting down the street, the gun tossed aside like a banana peel.

The next thing you saw froze your blood. “Loki!” Dropping to your knees, not caring that the jagged edges of the concrete rubble lacerated your skin. You fumbled for his hand. It was so cold, and covered in blood, and he was gasping for air. The armour on his chest was melted away, revealing a blistering gash. He was bleeding heavily.

“No, Loki,” you whispered over and over. “You’re okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.” If he died, you would never forgive yourself. 

In a moment’s clarity, you fished out your phone, almost dropping it because your hands were so slick, and for backup. That weapon was not of human origin. Besides, you couldn’t very well call an ordinary ambulance for Loki. 

A small crowd were forming by the time SHIELD arrived. Some were filming your feeble attempts to keep Loki’s blood on the inside, others were just watching, but all stepped back once the black cars showed up and agents swarmed the area, collecting evidence and mobile phones and witness statements. 

You noticed nothing of that, though. The only thing you heard was Loki’s ragged breath as you focused on keeping him awake. “Listen to me,” you said with a trembling voice, failing horribly to sound stern and confident. “Don’t you dare die! Not like this!”

Loki coughed and smiled weakly. “Well, I figured this was the only way you would leave me alone.”

Laughing grimly, you shook your head. “What, am I such a bad roommate you have to die to get some peace?”

He nodded once before his eyes started to glide shut.

“This is bullshit!” you yelled just as the paramedics ploughed their way through the onlookers. Once they started working on him, you sat back on your heels and closed your eyes. Your tears were indistinguishable from the rain, but you could not ignore the burning behind your eyes. All sound drowned in the rush in your ears, and distantly you registered someone hoisting you to your feet. Supported by an agent, you let yourself be lead to an ambulance so they could take a look at your bleeding legs. 

Someone strapped you in and attached beeping machinery and devices to you, but all you could see was Loki’s ashen and bloody face lying lifeless on the pavement.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Loki opened his eyes and blinked in confusion. You rushed to his side and handed him one of the white plastic cups. “Don’t try to speak. Drink.”

He nodded and sat up, gulping the water down greedily. Some of it dribbled from the corner of his mouth, but he didn’t seem particularly bothered by it. When he was finished, he put the cup down on the little side table and looked around. 

Once he noticed the balloons, he burst out laughing. “What the –“ His voice was raw, and the effort made him cough.

“Better not talk to much yet,” you said, grinning now that he was awake and didn’t seem insulted by them. “Let me jump start your memories.”

He reached for the nearest balloon and examined it while gesturing for you to go on. The balloon in question read Get well soon you attention seeking twat on one side, but as it slowly revolved, the other side revealed It can’t always be champagne, cocaine, and hookers. (Get well soon.) Loki let out an amused chuckle.

You felt like crying with relief, and you hoped your voice wouldn’t crack. “Basically you had to be a hero and scare the shit out of me. You’ve been in a coma for almost two weeks! You dick!”

His eyes shone with remembrance, then widened from your sudden outburst. 

Suddenly aware of what you had said, you started sputtering, ears burning with embarrassment. “And I wasn’t the only one who were upset. When Thor found out you were in a coma he let loose a storm that almost flooded the city. It wasn’t until the doctors finally confirmed you would live he let it go. 

To be fair the lightning show was kinda pretty, but it made it hard to sleep. The curtains aren’t exactly lightproof,” you added, looking at the windows over your shoulder.

Loki followed your gaze, before his eyes landed on the crumpled blanket on the chair in the corner. He swallowed and grimaced. He never thought you would have resort to such uncomfortable methods to keep an eye on him.

“The hit you took caused significant injuries to your torso. The doctors contemplated a skin graft too, but they were unsure how your body would react to Midgardian technology. Luckily you’re a fast healer.”

It took another week before the doctors deemed Loki well enough to be discharged, and you were more than happy to have him home again. The apartment, though unharmed in the attack, seemed so dark and ghostly without him, and you had even snuck into his room a couple of times when the anxiety shot through the roof.

Pushing the wheelchair through the glass doors, you headed to the waiting car. “Ready to go home?”

“Yes. And ready to get out of this ridiculous chair. I can bloody walk on my own.”

You snorted. “Yeah, sorry about that. Standard procedure, I think. So that you can’t sue the hospital if you stumble over a mat or something.”

Loki snorted too. “Right. Well, this is quite beneath my dignity.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve made spaghetti for dinner,” you said, hardly able to contain your laughter. 

Loki let out a loud groan and got into the car.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

His face was grey and spattered with blood. It flowed rapidly from the deep slash across his chest, and no matter what you did it would not stop bleeding. Soon you were slippery with blood, both on your hands and on your feet. It became increasingly more difficult to find foothold, and you slid over the slick surface trying to keep pressure on the wound. Blood seeped through your clothes, warm and sticky, his life force coating your skin in red.

You called his name, over and over, but got no answer; his unseeing eyes turning milky white as you watched the ground swallow him inch by inch.

Mid-scream you were yanked backwards, landing on a soft surface with a silent oof. Dreading what you would see, you opened your eyes slowly – and looked straight into Loki’s concerned eyes. He was holding your shoulders harder than what was comfortable, pressing you into the mattress, but once he got eye contact, his grip loosened. 

Blinking, you tried to orientate yourself. You were in your room. The bed was where it ought to, and you were tangled in your blanket. The t-shirt you usually slept in clung to your sweaty skin, and your face felt raw and stiff.

Seeing the wildness in your eyes, Loki let go completely and stepped back. “You were screaming,” he said softly, as if he expected you to scream again. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Frowning for a second, you didn’t know what he was talking about. Then a light flicked on in your brain. He had misunderstood your terror. “No, no. You didn’t. I… I had a nightmare. You…” You hesitated. “I didn’t know where I was. Thank you for waking me.” It hurt to talk. You wondered what the neighbours thought had happened.

“What did you dream about?”

You shook your head. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

Loki nodded. “Alright. Sleep well, Y/N. I wish you pleasant dreams.” He turned to leave, but before he could close the door, you called him back. “Loki, wait.”  
He poked his head around the door. “Yes?”

You drew a deep breath. “Will you stay? Just a little while?”

He came back and sat down on the edge of the mattress, looking both confused and concerned. 

“I’m scared the dream will return,” you explained with an apologetic smile. His lifeless face appeared each time you closed your eyes, and it made you nauseous. “Maybe if you, if you distracted me, I’ll fall asleep again. I mean, if you… oh, but you probably want to go back to sleep. Nevermind. Sleep well, Loki.”

You curled up and tried to think about nice things. Puppies and kittens, balloons. Summer. Flowers, meadows, grass, dirt… holes in the ground, sinking, maggots, dead Loki… You shivered.

Loki shifted next to you. “I was reading when you… uh,” he said quietly. “Perhaps I could, if you want to… I could read to you? Mot– Frigga always did that whenever I could not sleep when I was young.”

“I’d like that.”

He smiled and conjured a book out of thin air. “I just procured this wonderful edition of old fairytales. Some of them remind me of my childhood stories.” 

You turned over on your side, resting your forehead on the side of his thigh. The warmth and life and movements calmed your nerves even further. 

Loki opened the book, leafing through it until he found the page he was searching for. “Dapplegrim. This is one of my favourites,” he said. “Once upon a time there lived a rich couple with twelve sons…”

You glanced at the page, admiring the gorgeous illustrations. “Wait, Loki… that’s not English. You… are you translating as you read?”

He nodded, a red tint appearing in his face. “Yes. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” you murmured, and soon his smooth voice wrapped around you and carried you off to dreamland.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Bugs and maggots. He was green and bloated and decomposing. You were stuck. Can’t get away, can’t get away, can’t get away. Invisible hands pulled you closer and closer. Chalky eyes stared into emptiness. It’s your fault. He’s gone. Never. Never. Never. 

Gentle hands shook you out of the dream. “Y/N!” Loki repeated your name until you opened your eyes. “You were screaming again.”

Your throat was so sore – it hurt to swallow, and you could taste blood. A raw sob escaped, and you hid your face under the blanket. Every time you closed your eyes, his dead face swam into view. Would you ever be able to sleep again?

He gently stroked your hair, letting you cry until you could breathe evenly again. Then he asked for the seventh time in just as many days: “Will you not tell me?”  
You clutched your blanket and shook your head.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Please.”

When you stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, Loki handed you a cup of coffee, sat down next to you and crossed his arms. “You look like hell, Y/N.”  
You scoffed. “Why thank you, Loki. How kind of you.” 

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed you by your elbow and dragged you to the door, coffee abandoned on the kitchen table. “I did not mean it like that, and you know it. Come. I’m buying you a hot chocolate down at the Bean, and then you’re going to tell me what’s bothering you so much you can’t sleep at night.”

Sighing in defeat, you wound a scarf around your neck and said a silent goodbye to the flat that had been your home for so long before following Loki out the door.

The Bean was a no nonsense café just a couple of minutes walk down the street. Fortunately it was unharmed in the attack, and you found yourself visiting almost every day, and the owner always greeted you warmly when you came by.

Loki sat you down by the table in the back, making sure he had a clear view to the door and window, then ordered two large hot chocolates with extra whipped cream.

“Come on,” he said, licking cream from his lip. “This is getting out of hand. Tell me what those abhorrent nightmares of yours are. It can’t continue like this. You haven’t had a good night’s sleep in… how long?”

“A week,” you answered meekly. “Sorry I’ve been keeping you up.”

Loki shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. Now. What is it that you dream about?”

You looked at him and he wiped a tear from your cheek. “I… It’s you.”

Loki’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, and he straightened up. Suddenly he was cold and distant, and the change startled you, it was like he was a stranger.   
Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply, finding comfort in the lingering sensation from his touch. “I see you,” you continued. “Dead. Decomposing. Gone. And it’s all my fault.” Now that it was out in the open it felt like a boulder had been lifted from your shoulders, and you dared to look up at him again.

He was no longer emotionless and stiff; his face had softened, and his eyes showed a new gleam that you had never noticed before. He took your hand in his and squeezed. “It was just a dream. You know that? I’m not dead.” Tilting his head, a small smile spread over his lips. “How could I sit here if I were?”

You swallowed hard. This could destroy a wonderful friendship, or if you were lucky – no, you didn’t dare to even think it, let alone hope. You gave up all pretence. Your old apartment was still there, and you could always volunteer for more fieldwork. 

“Don’t you see? It hurts me so bad seeing you…” You swallowed again. Even saying it out loud was painful. “…dead, because I… I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Mouth slightly open, he slid off his seat and crouched in front of you, holding your hands in between his own. His face was serious as he looked into your eyes. “That is not a wise decision, Y/N,” he whispered, and you felt your heart plummet to the floor. “I am not an easy person to love.”

“I know,” you muttered, struggling to hold back your tears. “But I can’t change what my heart tells me.” You sniffed and twisted in your seat, trying to manoeuvre around Loki. “I’ll send someone to pick up my things.”

You tugged on your hands to free yourself, but Loki would not let go. He straightened and pulled you closer. “You misunderstand me. I am not an easy person to love, but if you are willing to try, I will do what I can to ease the effort.”

“What?”

“Y/N, I had given up hope that someone would ever love me, and to find that that someone turned out to be you? It is more than I could have asked for. You have been in my dreams since the day we met, and I tried so hard to be civil when you met that fool. Tommy? Wasn’t that his name? And now… now you tell me that… that…” His voice broke. Instead of continuing, he lifted your hand to his lips. His touch was feather light, but it still sent a chill through you. Resting your hand against his cheek, he looked up at you, and you saw nothing but love in his eyes.

Many hours later, as you walked up the stairs hand in hand, Mrs Martin quickly poked her head out the door, then withdrew and closed it again.

“Oh shoot, now the whole building’s gonna know by morning,” you said, imagining the gossip spreading like fire from neighbour to neighbour. In your head you could see them staring, and the little knowing looks her and Mr Howard in number 15 would share.

Loki chuckled and brought your hand to his face, gently brushing his lips against your skin. Goosebumps erupted over your entire body.

“Yes, she will never shut up about it,” he murmured, looking fondly at the closed door. “Guess we really do have to invite her to the wedding.”

Your brain fizzed out, and you stopped mid-step, staring at him.


End file.
